Kids: close call

A while back, i got in trouble for mouthing off. If you dont remember, check out Note to Self..don’t piss off Master. WELL i totally forgot to tell you that my kids found my video!!!!!

I wasn’t even paying any attention and i hear my oldest child laughing. I look to see my middle kid holding my phone looking at a video. I lean over and low and behold, there i am, going to town on this fucking toy.

Then my oldest looks at me and is like “What were you doing in that video, it looks like a hot dog! Why were you eating a hot dog like that??” ( all while she is laughing at me)

All i could do was snatch the phone and go with it.

Note to self…Don’t Piss off my Master

Yesterday I pissed Him off because I told him “Fuck you”…OOPS!

But i was beyond irritated. After I said, i felt really bad because I don’t believe that i’ve ever said that to Sir, even before this new lifestyle. Im really disappointed in myself. I normally have a better filter than that. I dont know what happened.

I ended up, punishing myself, per the order of Sir. I had to gag and slap myself. I didn’t like that at all. How do you anticipate a slap to the face? You just have to grit your teeth and bear that shit. So needless to say, i’m not gonna piss Him off again.

I kept trying to make things better by apologizing, but that didn’t work. He didn’t talk to me until about 8pm last night. I hate when i can’t talk to him. I already feel like my soul is missing a piece because He is thousands of miles away. So for him to cut me off in that way was gut wrenching. I would rather him spank his frustration out on me, not give me the silent treatment. Given that He reads my blog, He will probably continue to do that just because i don’t like it. Hopefully I can get my shit together and stop mouthing off, then he wont have anything to punish me for….not likely

splenetic

Last night Sir told me to wear my plug all day and fuck myself with this stupid toy on my break time.

I’m fucking irritated. I feel like walking around saying “fuck” all day. This is the first time that I’m really starting to feel how it is to be a sub and feeling like my body isn’t mine. I was good, until i got to work and put the plug in. Then i was immediately pissed off. Have you ever walked around all day with a fucking butt plug in your ass?! Probably not. I gotta wear this stupid shit every fucking day. And i cant get away with not doing what i was told because He wants pictures and videos. FUUUUCKKK! My ass hurts. Fuck this. It’s 8am….and i have a plug in my ass. Well, at least it’s pretty.

A little too good??

He knows what he’s doing. He has me wrapped around his fingers like a fucking ring. This is supposed to be a sort of rant, but it may not come out that way.

I am ashamed, but turned on at the same time.

See, he told me he wants me to something I am uncomfortable with. I said i would do it but not sure if i’d like it, and do you what he said to me?? He said,

” I guess you’re not the slut i thought you were.”

I instantly felt ashamed and i wanted to please him and i said,

“No! I’m sorry Sir. I didn’t mean it. I take it back. I am your slut. I will not disappoint you.”

He says,

“No its okay, i understand. Ur a slut of convenience. Ur just a sheltered girl who experimented in college.”

AND FOR SOME REASON THIS PISSED ME OFF!!!

I told him that im not and he said,

“its ok love, u dont have to be something ur not. i understand. not a big deal”

so my dumbass says,

“No!!”

“Please i can do it!”

What the fuck is wrong with me?? I am completely confused and inside i am cracking up because this Man has this control over my mind and my body and I fucking love it! He just made me beg for his forgiveness because i was uncomfortable. WHAT?! He is a little too good at this Dom thing.