Yesterday I pissed Him off because I told him “Fuck you”…OOPS!
But i was beyond irritated. After I said, i felt really bad because I don’t believe that i’ve ever said that to Sir, even before this new lifestyle. Im really disappointed in myself. I normally have a better filter than that. I dont know what happened.
I ended up, punishing myself, per the order of Sir. I had to gag and slap myself. I didn’t like that at all. How do you anticipate a slap to the face? You just have to grit your teeth and bear that shit. So needless to say, i’m not gonna piss Him off again.
I kept trying to make things better by apologizing, but that didn’t work. He didn’t talk to me until about 8pm last night. I hate when i can’t talk to him. I already feel like my soul is missing a piece because He is thousands of miles away. So for him to cut me off in that way was gut wrenching. I would rather him spank his frustration out on me, not give me the silent treatment. Given that He reads my blog, He will probably continue to do that just because i don’t like it. Hopefully I can get my shit together and stop mouthing off, then he wont have anything to punish me for….not likely