One of my favorite blogs, Leather and Lace, chose a topic the other day talking about what type of submissive you are. Check out her page to catch the article and her story.
Anyway, this got me thinking about what type of submissive I am AND why i became a submissive.
For starters, author Kayla Lords says that I am a 24/7/365 submissive. The definition below describes me:
A 24/7 D/s relationship is often undetectable to the outside world. Submission in this type of relationship includes sexual submission, but will often also encompass the performance of domestic tasks, rituals, and established rules between the dominant and submissive. Every relationship is different, and the expectations of both partners must be discussed and thoroughly negotiated. What most outsiders see when they observe a couple in a 24/7 D/s relationship is one partner who defers to the other and follows their lead, but this doesn’t mean that there isn’t mutual respect between the Dominant and submissive.
This is how i am living my life now, however, we have tweaked that we take two days off to be just a normal couple, but I’m not sure that I want that to last.
Reflecting on things I have experienced and what this actually means to me, I believe I figured out why I identify with the submissive lifestyle and my underlying reason for giving up control to my Master.
Since I’ve been sexually active, I was always felt like I was REALLY good at what I do. It got to the point where I was (still am) teaching others how to perform certain acts for their partners. I have always enjoyed the art of lovemaking, sex, and kinkiness, but I never met my match…until I met my Master.
Since the beginning of time, I have been what I consider to be a pretty dominant woman. I controlled everything I did and everything that happened to me. Every partner I was with, I chose them for a reason. (most of those being alcohol related),
but even in those times of delusion, i was always in control. So, in hindsight, i’ve always wanted to be controlled. There’s so much to say for a man that can dominate a woman in the right ways. That’s what I was looking for. I was yearning for someone to completely overwhelm me; controlling my mind and my body. Quite frankly, I can’t respect a man that does not have the ability to be a Man.
Master has always been the man. My man. I know that for all the reasons i described above, I know that I do that same for him. This is why we are perfect for each other (and why i’m glad we’re not having anymore kids). Speaking of those bundles of joy, I have been body conscious since having children and He makes me blind to that emotion. I can let myself go with him and become someone totally different. Now, i have always been able to get lost in the moment, but something always creeps back in my mind that would take my focus away from the current and into the “self conscious worry wart.” Sir doesn’t let me do that. My focus, even before our new lifestyle, has always been on Him. I find myself wanting to make Him want me more and be proud of me for performing something new for Him. I am fortunate enough to have found a lifetime partner and a wonderful Dom to share this experience with. It makes the transition that much more comfortable for me, which makes me perform better for him. So with that being said, I love you Sir.